


Burn it to the Ground

by RavensRedShadow



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Daryl is a smidge jealous, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Rick is actually a normal human being in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:31:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavensRedShadow/pseuds/RavensRedShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’d burn this place to the ground if it meant you’d look at me again.”</p><p>Daryl's back but things are far from right between him and Rick. A long overdue talk turns into a revelation and Rick realizes that he might have misread Daryl. Again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn it to the Ground

**Author's Note:**

> The season finale was so brilliant I found myself finally inspired enough to write my first TWD fanfiction. This is my version of what would happen after Daryl's return if Rick was sane enough to sit down and have a conversation like a normal person. 
> 
> Both of them are a little out of character but hopefully Daryl's accent is at least decent. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

It was a long night, what with everything that had happened, the hard truths that had to be revealed. Despite my best efforts the Alexandrians still didn't get it. I could see it in their terrified faces and in the way, they refused to look at the remnants of Pete’s body but at least Deanna was starting to understand. I hoped that would be enough.

The shock of Deanna’s husband’s death, the necessity of Pete’s execution, and the return of Morgan were still fresh but at least my family was all safe and together again. Everyone was exhausted so after a quick decision for Abraham and Carol to take watch and a promise to sit down and talk with Morgan in the morning I went in search of Daryl. After all the stress of tonight, I needed to know he was OK.

I finally found him sitting on the back porch of our house smoking a cigarette. From a distance, he looked the picture of calm, until I noticed when he brought the cigarette to his lips that his hands were shaking.

I knew there was something off between us, there had been ever since we got to Alexandria. From the moment we stepped into the walls the set of his shoulders changed and his eyes went back to the dark mistrustful slits they’d been when I’d first met him. At first, I thought it was that he wasn’t comfortable with the place and I could relate. The domesticity of it made my skin crawl and set my teeth on edge. But out in the woods, I realized that, for the first time in a long time, I’d read Daryl wrong.

I’d been so angry that day, mostly at myself, for not noticing sooner that Daryl had drifted away until it was too late. And the worst part was that I hadn’t even seen it coming. He’d left with Aaron without saying goodbye and when I’d realized he was gone I’d felt a moment of panic thinking of all the words that had been left unsaid between us if he didn’t come back. But here he was and it wasn’t too late.

Even though we had somehow fallen out of sync with each other, I could tell something had happened out there, something bad. I wanted to ask a million questions but with Daryl, I knew it was no good trying to pry information out of him. He’d tell me everything but only when he was ready. So we sat together and I just reveled in the feeling of him by my side again.

“Thought I was gonna die out there,” Daryl finally said with an exhale of smoke and his words felt like an offering.

We sat for a moment and I watched him waiting for him to continue. My patience had been wearing thin with everyone but not with Daryl. I would sit here waiting for days if it meant he would talk to me again. I needed us to be OK. I needed him to be OK.

“We was trackin’ some guy when we first came up on it. A walker tied up to a tree. People’d been torturing it, if that’s even possible. Knew there was bad people out there. Just didn’t know how bad.”

He paused, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette before continuing, “Morgan saw ‘em. They tried ta kill him and he got away but the sick fuck told him what they’re doin’. They’re huntin’ people out there, huntin’ ‘em for sport. Settin’ traps like a snare for a rabbit and me an’ Aaron, we sprung one a those traps.” he took another long drag of the cigarette and let out a short bark of a laugh. “Shoulda seen the signs a mile away but I guess I was just stupid or blind and we walked right into it. We thought there might be supplies in the trucks but it was just filled with walkers. So we ran and we made it to a car but the walkers were already everywhere. We sat there and looked at all their dead fuck ugly faces pressed against the glass and it seemed like we was done.” he paused and I waited, not daring to speak in case he decided to stop talking.

“Told Aaron I’d lead ‘em away so he’d get to the gate. Knew I’d probably die but I did the math. Aaron has Eric and I ain’t got nobody. Not even sure anyone would notice if I didn’t come back.” The confession tumbled out quietly, almost as an afterthought and I felt a surge of anger. How could I have let things go so far that all the confidence Daryl had built was now crumbling again? It had been at least since Merle had died since Daryl had questioned his place in the group and now he was right back where we’d started, looking at me like he didn’t know me.

“I would have noticed,” I tried to be as firm and unwavering as possible, so there was no doubt in his mind that I needed him but Daryl looked at me out of the corners of his eyes and let out another short laugh tinged with sadness.

“Ya don’t even see me anymore man. How could ya even notice if I was gone if ya don’t see me in the first place?”

“I see you,” but Daryl was shaking his head, mouth curved in a wry smile.

“Nah, ya don’t see anything anymore man. ‘cept for her.” And it took me a moment but I knew who he was talking about.

“Is that what this is about?” I asked “Jessie?” I spat her name out. What did she have to do with this anyway? This didn’t have anything to do with her. It was just about me and Daryl.

“Seen the way you look at her,” Daryl’s lips thinned, his words as rage filled as they were on that rooftop in Atlanta, “Is that how things is now? Blond hair and a pair a tits and ya gonna throw all the rest a us away? They told me what happened with Pete. You was willin’ ta risk your family for her. So yeah - I think it’s all about her now.”

“Is that what you think a me? You think I’d put everyone at risk for someone who I barely even know. You think I’d put my kids at risk, my family, you?” I stared at him wondering how everything had gotten so distorted between us.

He looked at me his eyes narrowed, illuminated by the burning end of the cigarette. “I don’t know if I know anything about you anymore.” And his words felt like ice water washing through my veins.

We sat there, just staring at each other for a moment before he finally broke away his gaze and looked up at the dark sky. “Don’t know why I said all that shit. ‘s not like it matters anyway, Morgan came outta nowhere and saved our asses so it don’t matter.” But it did matter. Looking at him now I realized that everything mattered.

Daryl was a deliberate person. Everything he did had a purpose. He didn’t speak unless he had something to say so I knew that this wasn’t just a fleeting worry. He was afraid, even now sitting next to me and that hurt. It hurt to think that somehow even after all this time he still didn’t understand that I was there for him, that he could lean on me too. And out of everything, Jessie was the person making him question this. Why would my interest in Jessie…

Then it clicked into place like a bullet sliding into the barrel of a gun and I looked at him and saw for the first time in a long time.

Daryl was perhaps the most important person to me left in this world, besides my own flesh and blood. He was a part of my family now. I’d told him he was my brother but only because I didn’t think it could be more. If I’d ever thought I could get away with it without my teeth getting kicked in, I’d of told him what he really meant to me long before this. But now, sitting here looking at him I wondered if I’d really missed this. Could I have been so blind not to see him looking at me the same way I’d been trying not to look at him?

“She is important to me,” I started slowly, not taking my eyes off of him. “I want to protect her. I want to protect this place. Because they’re weak. I want to protect them because they can’t do it themselves. We need this place and I’ve been so focused on fixing things here that I lost focus on everything else,” As I said it I knew it was true. I paused trying to find the right words to tell him what he meant to me. How much I needed him. “I’d burn this place to the ground if it meant you’d look at me again.”

His eyes snapped to my face, “’m lookin’ at ya now,” the words were a mere whisper of smoke but it felt like tar dripping from his lips.

“Not like ya used to,” and I prayed that I wasn’t reading this wrong too.

“An’ how did I look at ya?” We were close now and when I breathed all I could taste was him.

“Like I was the only thing you could see.”

“Fuck,” Daryl looked away dragging his hand through his hair, stubbing out his cigarette on the porch. I realized that this was it. It was now or never. We were standing on a wire and we were falling one way or another. I just hoped we’d fall together.

“I can’t love Jessie because I don’t know how to love like that anymore. I don’t know how to love someone so weak and fragile that they barely even exist in this world.” I paused watching Daryl tense under my gaze, “But I know how to love you.” Instantly I knew I’d said the wrong thing.

“Fuck you,” Daryl spat, shooting upright accent getting harsher as it did when he got angry, “Don’t ya dare lie ta me. Ya think I’m fuckin’ stupid. I seen the way ya look at her. Ya say ya love me. Then why do ya look at her like ya wanna fuck her in the street like some dog?” I flinched at his words, “Ya killed a man for her Rick. Don’t tell me that don’t mean nothin’.”

“I’m not lying to you. I wouldn’t lie, not about this. Maybe I did look at her like that and I killed Pete but that doesn’t mean I love her. It doesn’t even mean I would have sex with her. She doesn’t mean anything to me. Not in comparison to you.” I took a deep breath, realizing I had been almost shouting, before starting again. “You’re everything to me. You’ve been by my side protecting me and my kids since the beginning. You think I could ever forget that? You think that I could have ever made it this far without you. That Jessie could ever compare to that?”

“Don’t fuck with me. You ain’t gay,” he said it more like a question.

“Does it even matter anymore? Who gives a shit what you call it. If being gay means that I love you then I’m gay.” I said, throwing my hands in the air.

“Why do you keep saying that?” his voice was back to a whisper.

“Sayin’ what?”

“That you love me. I know it ain’t true. If it’s about sex, an’ that’s hard enough to believe as it is, I guess I get that. But ya don’t love me. Ya can’t” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“Why not?” and he just looked at me like I was the one being thick, “What about you? Do you love me?”

“Don’t matter,” he said roughly.

“No Daryl, right now that’s the only thing that does. Do you love me?” For a moment I was afraid I’d pushed too far. That he’d just walk away and leave me here. But he sighed, his shoulders slumping before he turned to me and looked me in the eyes.

“I look at you and I can breathe. When ya touch me it feels like whiskey burnin’ through ma veins. I can’t fall asleep ‘til I see yer face one last time. I know that’s somethin’ but I don’t know if that’s love. Never trusted anyone enough to be in love before.”

I made my way over to him slowly trying not to spook him again. “I need you. Whether you believe that I love you or not do you believe that I need you?”

“Yeah,” It came out as a breath, his gaze flicking to my lips.

“You’re my everything,” I reached out letting my fingers ghost over his skin, “Let me show you?”

He nodded and I leaned in, my gaze fixed on his lips until they connected with mine. It was chaste at first but from the moment our skin touched it felt like fire was racing through my veins. He was shaking again so I pulled back just slightly.

“Shh,” I breathed into his mouth, “I’ve got you.” He gasped like he’d been punched in the gut and as our lips connected again I was able to coax his mouth open. I wanted to put my hand on the back of his neck to draw him in closer but I didn’t want him to feel trapped, so I settled for cupping his face and stroking my fingers over his cheekbones. After what felt like forever he was sighing into my kisses his body slowly going pliant. When I felt him stop shaking I backed up into the house pulling him with me by his belt loops, one hand still on his face.

“Let me show you,” I breathed again pulling his hips into mine, just a brush of denim but enough for him to know how much this was affecting me.

“Fuck Rick,” he moaned his hips twitching towards my own, “wantcha.”

“You’ve got me,” I stroked my fingers over his hip bones, “always have.”

“I didn’t know,” he buried his face in my neck, his breath coming out in wet puffs against my skin, “I didn’t know how much I needed ya ‘til I thought I’d lost ya.”

He held onto me like he was afraid he might be ripped away from me at any moment. Like he really could lose me.

I jolted in surprise when he hooked his leg around my own and pulled me around by my belt loops until he was the one pressed against the house. I leaned back searching his face for any reservations but all I saw was trust and naked want so I pressed back into him, my leg slotting between his thighs and my arms coming up to bracket him in.

“Daryl,” I kissed along his jaw and down the side of his neck. He groaned his hips rolling up into mine and I could feel that he was just as affected as me.

“Touch me,” he murmured.

“Am touchin’ you,” I smiled into his skin my hands squeezing his hips as proof.

“Fuck, ya know what I mean,” he whined, “Need ya ta touch me.”

As tempting as it was to just reach my hand in his pants and make him come unraveled I needed Daryl to understand. I wasn’t sure anymore that we could read each other with just a look so I had to spell it out. I had to make sure that this wouldn’t become just another miscommunication. So I pulled away looking at his flushed face in the moonlight.

Shit, he’s beautiful, I thought drinking in the sight of him.

“When I said I love you, I meant it. This ain’t just about sex, at least not for me. I need to know that you feel the same way.” He stared at me for a moment before leaning forward to kiss me again.

“You’re my everything too, ya dumbass,” he said between kisses. “Now fuckin’ touch me.”

And he was shimmying out of his jeans and I thought I might choke on my own tongue when I realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“Oh, Daryl,” I breathed reaching out and tracing my fingers across his already weeping erection. He keened as I took him fully into my hand and he already felt like he was going to shake apart just from a touch. As I stroked him slowly but firmly he panted into my mouth, little whimpers falling from his lips almost like he couldn’t help himself. I could feel my own erection pressing against the zipper of my jeans but I ignored it in favor of watching Daryl fall apart.

“’m close,” he whined, “Fuck, I’m so close,” and I pulled back to get a proper look at him.

His head was tipped back against the wall, his face flushed and his bruised mouth hanging open letting the continuous sounds of his pleasure out. I tried to sear the image of him like this into my brain but I knew not even my own memory could accurately capture this moment.

“Want ta feel ya,” and he was pawing at my zipper, trying to pull down my pants while still rutting up into my fist. He pushed down my jeans just far enough before he took me into his hand. My eyes snapped shut and I bit my lip trying not to come at just the first touch of his calloused hand. But he had barely touched me before he was pulling away and my eyes flew open in confusion. The sight that greeted me made my heart stop in my chest.

Daryl had turned so that his back was to me, his hips angled back and he was looking at me over his shoulder his eyes like dark pools of want.

“Wanna try something.” He murmured reaching back to take my hard cock back into his hand and he drew me in close guiding the length of me between his thighs. It was so very tight and when I pressed my hips into his body I could feel the head of my cock press against his balls. I felt like I was about to come undone at the seams.

The slide was a little dry at first but we were sweating and I was leaking now more than I ever had so it wasn’t long before his thighs were slick with a mixture of sweat and cum. I wrapped one hand back around his drooling erection and grabbed his hip with the other as I thrust into him. I knew it wouldn’t be long now; in fact, I was surprised we had lasted as long as we had.

As I felt the start of my orgasm begin to swell in the base of my spine I bit at Daryl’s ear growling into it, “Next time I want to be inside you,” and Daryl jerked liked he’d been shocked and came all over my fist, keening like he’d never cum in his life.

We rode out our orgasms shuddering into each other until the last of the pleasure had been wrung out of our bodies and I could feel the chill of the night air on my bare skin.

We separated and Daryl stooped down to retrieve his discarded pants. As I did up my own I watched him and saw the red flush of arousal morph into one of embarrassment. He hurriedly pulled up his jeans with a grimace of discomfort as they clung wetly to the inside of his thighs.

“Hey,” I reached out to touch his shoulder, “look at me, Daryl.” He shifted uncomfortably but met my gaze.

We just stared at each other for a while before he huffed out a laugh and pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. “Nothin’ better than an after sex smoke,” he muttered around the end of the cigarette as he flicked the lighter to light up.

“How long,” I finally managed to say watching him eye his cigarette like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Stole my first pack off my old man when I was about fourteen. Shoulda fuckin’ known better ‘cause he’d beaten the shit outta me for a lot less.” He sat back down on the steps gingerly, retrieving the burned out butt of his last cigarette.

“You know what I mean,” I sat next to him and he sighed out a stream of smoke.

“Ya askin how long I’ve wanted ta fuck ya or how long I’ve had feelin’s fer ya.”

“Both.”

“Wanted ta fuck ya since the prison. Loved ya fer a lot longer than that.”

“So you do love me,” and my heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“Fuck if I know. Like I said never been close enough ta anyone ta even know what love is. But I know yer it fer me. I know that if there’s anything left in this world that I can’t lose that’s you.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I thought back to all those nights at the prison when we’d sat together in the watch tower talking or just watching the night sky. More than once I’d looked over at him and wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Now I knew he’d been thinking the same thing.

“cause it was just in my head ya know. Once it actually happened, once it was real it changes everything.”

“You're wrong though, there’s not much left to change. Even if this never happened,” I gestured between us, “I’d still feel the same about you.”

“But I didn’t know that,” he looked at me, his eyes solemn, “I didn’t know what woulda happened if I’d made a move and ya hadn’t felt the same. Couldn’t lose ya.”

“Even if I didn’t feel this way, you’re still my best friend. You wouldn’t have lost me.”

He shrugged, “Couldn’t take that chance.”

“Truthfully, I was afraid to take that chance too.” I confessed, looking at him, “Guess I was worried I’d lose you too.”

Daryl snorted, “Nah, yer stuck with me.” I smiled and reached out, taking is hand in mine.

“I do love you,” he looked at me, “Been in love with you since the prison. Since I saw how good you are with Carl, how sweet you are to Judith, how you care about everyone and how you were always there for me. I just didn’t realize that’s what it was until we were on that road in Georgia and I was seeing you for the first time since the governor. You were standing there, trying once again to save us no matter the cost and I knew at that moment I was in love with you. I had a gun to my head but all I could think was thank god he’s alive, I can’t do this without him. When I saw you tonight I thought the same thing. So you can go back out there if you need to but only if you promise me you’ll come back, ‘cause I can’t do this without you.”

“Ya know I can’t promise you that. You and I both know there’s shit out there no one can control and there might be one day when no one’s gonna come back. But I can promise that I’ll fight like hell ta get back to ya.” He paused and looked down at our intertwined fingers, giving my hand a squeeze, “Can’t do this without ya either.”

We sat side by side looking up at the stars and I wondered, not for the first time if we’d met in the old world if I’d have come to feel the same way about him. I wanted to think that no matter what world we lived in I would always find him but it was impossible to know. Maybe we would have met, maybe not, maybe Lori and I would have worked things out, maybe Daryl would have let his brother slowly rip him apart, but none of that mattered now. All those paths of ‘could have beens’ were blown apart with the first bomb they’d dropped on Atlanta. We’d survived this long because we were living in the real world, in this world, and in this world Daryl was here sitting next to me our thighs pressed together and our fingers intertwined. We were alive right now and we were together.

In the end of the world that’s more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading my first contribution to the TWD/Rickyl fandom. Hope you enjoyed it. Comments are always appreciated and as this has only been proof read by me I'm sure there are some errors so please feel free to point out any glaring ones.


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